The Five Love Languages

The Guide to Understanding The Five Love Languages by Gray Chapman

Happiness starts when you’re able to accept that not everyone shows their love the same way; to build a healthy relationship, individuals must first understand “The Five Love Languages” by Gray Chapman. Chapman’s theory highlights the most important concept within a relationship as you learn to communicate your love to one another.

Everyone in life goes through trials, pain, and heartache creating unfortunate circumstances that may carry frustrations, insecurities, and hurt. Where we nonetheless learn to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and carry on. So, the key to discovering happiness in a relationship begins with understanding how you interpret and respond to love. This blog will share the five love languages summary, so sit back and allow your mind to grow.

Words of Affirmation

Words of Affirmation can be spoken or written words that confirm your love, support and empathy to that person. These individuals believe that the words give them a voice to how they should feel inside. Ways to speak to their love language would be to;

  • Write thoughtful notes
  • Be authentic with your words (don’t overdo it)
  • Show your appreciation by noticing and commenting on the little things they do.
  • “You are special to me”
  • “Thank you for supporting me through this”
  • “You looked stunning today”
  • “I appreciate you for communicating how you feel”.

[Read: How to use Words of Affirmation in your Relationship ]

Love Language - Gift Giving
“An attitude of gratitude creates blessings.” –Sir John Templeton.


Second, we have “Gift-Giving,” now this does not necessarily mean you or a loved one is materialistic. These individuals who speak Gift-Giving as their love language, value the underlying process within the gesture.

For those who instinctively associate love with receiving or gift giving constitute a physical symbol of love that materially conveys the affection.

Surprising them with gifts such as flowers, chocolates, their favorite coffee, or food goes a long way. The communication behind gift-giving not only allows them to appreciate their partner but also enjoy the element of surprise and the thought that was put behind the token of affection.

In the article “How to Speak 5 Love Languages” Carrie M. King also goes in depth on how individuals enjoy giving/ receiving gifts with this love language.

Gift Giving Ideas…

[Read: 22 Cute Couple Gifts 2020]

Gifts for her can be small gestures of gratitude that shows your appreciation for them.

For example:

  • If they enjoy coffee or tea, then this simple easy gift will make them think of you every morning.
  • Home slippers are a great gift to keep them cozy!

Gifts for him can also be small and meaningful or just the thought that counts. Now you wouldn’t get them a gift that you knew they wouldn’t use!

  • Home slippers are always a go-to, especially with all the quarantine
  • Men also enjoy candles! This whiskey and tobacco candle can be a simple gift to make them think of you each time they light it.

Quality Time

Love Language - Quality Time

Thirdly, we analyze “Quality Time,” engaging in the here and now (walks on the beach, dinner dates, card games, etc).

By engaging in the moment, these individuals enjoy activities the two can do together. They enjoy feeling seen, heard, and loved by their partner. They view time as a priceless gift that may not be replaceable through tangible times, words, or gestures.

They also appreciate the experiences they make with their loved ones and value their partner through the time spent together. However, it is important to keep in mind that the quality of time is more important than the amount of time.

Physical Touch

Next, we have “Physical Touch”, which seems like the easiest one to remember, however it is almost always forgotten. When we get caught up in life we tend to forget how important physical touch may be. (Sexual, holding hands, hugs, kisses, etc)

The individuals who express their love through physical touch may feel neglected by their partner if they don’t receive enough. To understand this individual you must express this love to give them a feeling of security, and appreciation.

Acts of Service

focused couple packing stuff before moving out
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

Lastly, we have “Acts of Service”, no it does not correlate with household chores. To them, they hear words as just words, gifts become burdensome stuff, quality time is draining, and touch feels clingy. They want and show their love through action to value the relationship. By receiving or doing acts of service, this individual views the relationship on a higher pedestal.

In the article, How to Use Acts of Service in Your Relationships , Sarah Sheppard prepossess that you;

Pay attention to the little things about your partner, and help them out next time. By learning these things, you will be able to help your partner out and show them a few acts of service that makes them happy.

Some ideas to get your started:

  • notice how your partner cleans the place.
  • how they like their coffee.
  • what tendencies do they have when it comes to their daily chores.

Also, consider what your partner doesn’t enjoy doing.


  • Taking out the trash
  • Washing the dishes
  • Cleaning hard to reach spaces, etc.

Choosing to learn about ones love language helps you determine what works and doesn’t work when showing your love. We enjoy our love a certain way and sometimes forget that our partners may be different.

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Arrezo Azimzadeh
Arrezo Azimzadeh

BA, Psych, Behavioral Therapy & Owner of Wish Upon Arrezo. She focuses to create audience engagement across a variety of social platforms, and works diligently with individuals to build healthier personal and relationship habits.